Finding the “Why”

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Do you find yourself unmotivated at times? How do you motivate yourself? I’ve asked myself that question a lot over the years. Finding the “why” I want to restart is always the hardest part. I have found that if I can narrow down and get to the bottom of the “why” then I can fight my way back to the motivation. I have found this to be true with weight loss, with behavior changes, with even house cleaning…or purging things from my house. Any life change really. The process of getting to the “why” isn’t easy though. The self talk can be limiting. I have found myself in a pattern of negative self talk. I have conversations that sound somewhat like this: “You will never… You have always… You have tried that before but have failed…” and none of those conversations led to success. Why? Because, I had talked myself out of even trying. So here is my plug for those who have found themselves stuck… follow this pattern…


We often do things in reverse, we let our actions (or lack thereof) determine our emotions about things… (“I’m a failure) which leads to all of the continued negative thoughts…and no motivation. So turning this around helps! Think positive thoughts. Say “Today, I WILL…” and you will have positive emotions around that positive attitude and positive thoughts, then your actions will follow.

I have three girls, one preteen, one tween, and one teen. This is a constant conversation I am having with them. I am seeing them have success when they slow down and see that they are allowing the negative thoughts to take over their day. I am not an expert… but I do have my B.S. in Psychology and have thought about going back to a Masters degree to counsel, but haven’t… and I know this might not work for everyone, but I wanted to share what we have been working thru and what has been helpful in our home lately! With all of that being said, I think there is a HUGE shortage in conversation on mental health and if you are struggling with depression, please reach out to a medical professional who can help you. It’s really important. There is only ONE YOU! YOU can not be replaced!

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