It’s been very quiet around here… and here is why…

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You might have noticed that it’s been a little quiet around here lately. I’ve been working hard to keep my head above water…mentally and emotionally. It’s been a tough summer. My kids are officially back in school… well three of the four are. The last one starts after Labor Day. Here is a little of what I have been wrestling with. My best friend lost her dad in May to suicide. We didn’t see it coming. It was heart shattering. It still is, to be completely honest. When I see her Facebook posts and how she is trying to move forward with such heavy grief, it’s so painful to watch from the sidelines, knowing that I can not do ANYTHING to help her. I am a “feeler.” I hurt when my friends hurt… and this one has been so painful.

Of course, like any (or actually all) major tragic events in my life have done, I start really thinking about where I am at in my life and where I want to be. Am I the person I want to be, the friend, the wife, the mom, etc… am I making a difference, am I using my time wisely, will I have regrets at the end of my days. All of these things tend to cause me to become extra passive about the “small stuff” and over think a lot of “what ifs.” It’s a slippery-slope. I think evaluations are always good, but actions are where I thrive.

I decided that I was not happy with where I had let myself go physically and have been working hard to get that back to a healthy place. I’ve been working out and eating better. This is a big shift in my laid back (recovering from Achilles surgery) self.  This also means that I have less time for the things that I was doing…and I feel some guilt about that. I know this is something that I need to do…for me and for my whole family…present and future…but it’s time consuming.

I also decided that I was not going to sit and waste so much of my day in front of my iMac like I had been in the previous months. I wanted to be present for my kids thru the summer months. I think I did that well. Now that they are back in school, I am hoping to hop back on and really jump back on and create content that you will enjoy and look forward to.

Life is short friends… I’ve been at deaths door… I know this to be true… a blogger friend just lost her (healthy) husband, suddenly. Another blogger friend just lost her battle with cancer. Living life to the fullest and making every second of every day count is a big mission to live out…but it’s one that you won’t regret.

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