If you’ve been reading my blog for the past year, then you know that we have adopted a little guy. We walked into the process in September last year with so many hopes and dreams about how everything would play out. For the most part, it’s been pretty smooth. Our agency is awesome and offers great support post adoption, we’ve met some wonderful families along the way and of course our little man is the joy of all joys in our home.
So many great things and exciting, happy emotions! On the flip side, it has been an adjustment. We have slowed things down around our home as we can no longer roll out within a few minutes. Our home now looks like an explosion of Babies R Us and we’ve gotten used to stepping over small items. Bottles clutter our counter tops and fill our dishwasher…and we love it. Having a baby again has been an odd transition for me. Most of my friends have school aged kids and the thought of starting over (like us) is far from their minds. So while they are volunteering at the school (which I try to do, but can’t stay long due to Little Bits wanting a nap or to eat!), and such I am home being mommy. I wouldn’t trade it for all of the money in the world. It’s helped me to refocus on cooking meals and decluttering and keeping the house. But it’s also lonely at times. I am so thankful for new friends that adoption has brought me and honest conversations about how adoption has changed the future for our family. It’s been a spiritual journey.
So that brings us to this month… This Is Us. Are you watching it? Oh my goodness! It’s soo good! I have laughed and cried and cried. I don’t have Hulu, but got it so I can watch this show. (We have ball games on Tuesday nights, so I can’t watch it live!) This show is unraveling me. I was hooked the first episode when I learned of the adoption story. Then came the second episode and seeing things unfold a little more…and now this third one… OH MAN! The adopted child wanting to know his story. (Nathan will want to know his story someday!) The birth mom not letting him meet his biological father, thinking that she is protecting him. (This is where I am very different…I want Nathan to know and have a relationship with his birth parents!) and then the tragic twist…finding his birth father and it being almost too late. Adoption is full of pain. It’s the strangest dynamic I have emotionally ever felt. I am so happy and joyous over adding Nathan to our family. He is such a gift from God. Yet, I know that it was through his birth moms pain that he came to us. That is heart breaking and I pray for her daily.
I am not who I was a year ago. I am more focused. More dialed in on my family and loving them well. I am listening to God more and reminding myself daily that none of my children are “my” children, but instead they are all His. It’s been such a journey and a ride. I never thought I would be given another chance to hold a little hand or snuggle a baby while they sleep…and God gave me that. I am blessed. I am blessed.
Speak Your Mind