Free to be Me

Credit: medicinenet.com

At times I feel as though my life is in fast forward, at other times, I feel as though the days are so long. It’s amazing what a little perspective can do for ones soul.

Six Years… six years ago today my hubby resigned from his job. It was devastating, scary, and a time for us to regroup as a family and come up with a survival plan. It was a lonely time, and a time when we learned that asking for help isn’t always a bad thing.

We were humbled, we were broken. It truly shook our security and we held on tightly to our three small children and trusted that God had a plan.

Fast forward to today… He definitely had a plan. He had an awesome plan. We were so blinded by our plans for our lives to be able to see what He had in mind for us. We are in our dream home, raising our three beautiful, smart girls. We are debt free (besides the mortgage!) and Steve is in job that he loves. I get to stay at home and do this blog, along with a social media gig for a brand that I believe in. My kids have great friends, an awesome school and are involved in sports. As a family, we serve at our church and LOVE what God is doing there and how He is using us to serve His body.

We were both raised in very different homes. Mine had beliefs…many too many. His had very few. We took that into our marriage and tried to figure out where that left us. We quickly fell into the game of pleasing others. Being who we thought THEY wanted us to be. Doing what others wanted us to do, and trying to “do the right thing” by others. We were playing a dangerous game. We wore masks. We were afraid to be who we are. We put on our smiles and pretended things were great, even when they weren’t. It wasn’t easy…but we didn’t feel like we could show the cracks in our pots. We thought we had to present ourselves as perfect…. after all that is what everyone around us was expecting.  Look the part, act the part, and be the part.

The only problem with that plan is that we are NOT PERFECT! We never have been, and never will be. We didn’t feel free to be our broken, in need of God’s grace, selves. We judged when we shouldn’t have. We missed the boat and a lot of opportunities.

Today we are miles and miles down the road from where we were in 2009. We aren’t perfect, but we aren’t hiding our cracks anymore. We are allowing God to use them to help others. We are honest, we are real. We no longer wear masks. We are loved for WHO we are and WHOSE we are, not other reasons. It’s a totally different life. We are FREE. There is such a peace in knowing and understanding that He loves us and has great things a head. I can’t wait to see what the next 6 years brings!