Is there any joy found in living a life that is fake? You know the ones you see on Facebook and other social media channels. Everyone is always smiling, no pain exists. Marriages are perfect, kids are super smart, and awesome athletes.
I don’t think there is any joy in living that fake life and here is why. My life is NOT perfect. And I am not always smiling and happy. My marriage is not perfect and my kids struggle in different areas of school. They miss more baskets and goals then they make…and it’s all okay.
We are real. We are messed up, we are human. I refuse to pretend that everything is golden, therefore keeping the lie going. There is so much pressure to be perfect and to succeed at everything you touch. I would argue that THAT is not living. I want my kids to make mistakes, so they can learn from them. I want my marriage to have struggles so that my kids can see it’s hard work and not always easy. I want my kids to grow because of their failures. I want us to LIVE. The pressure to be perfect is crippling and not healthy.
So, go ahead and post a status on Facebook that shows how REAL your family is. Here is one that I posted in the past few weeks. It’s honest and we have had MANY laughs because of it.
Moral of the story: don’t fart in the van causing your wife to roll down the window for survival, causing the reindeer antler to fly off causing you to have to U turn and risk life and limb and making you late for church!
So funny you posted this! Chris and I were just discussing how I feel that many people are very fake. We were discussing the ideas of if it was an age thing that we can see it more in those around us now, more than when we were younger? Is it a social media thing? Is a society or geographical thing? Thoughts?
I think some of it is geographical. I have trouble making friends here… and keeping them, even harder. I’m not “fake” and I think people have a hard time with the fact that when someone asks, “How are you doing?” and I respond, “I’ve had better days,” they aren’t sure what to do with it because it’s not the, “Good! How are you?” typical response. When I went home to Florida over break, I caught up with my friends there, friends I’ve had between 8 and 25 years+… it was like we never were away from one another, even though it’s been years since we’ve seen one another. These are friends that I’ve cried on their shoulders and them on mine. We’ve laughed til our sides ached too. We’re honest, maybe to a fault, but you always know where you stand with them, you never have to guess. You’re welcome at their house anytime, no matter how messy it is. You can drive over any time of day or night, knock and be welcome. I love those friends dearly. I feel like here, you always have to be Polly Positive, smile on your face, wine glass in your hand and have your home sparkling. A lot of it’s a facade to try to fit in, kind of like Frozen, “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see…” I’m a realist, I smile a lot, but I frown when I’m sad, I don’t drink wine, and my house is messy- a lot- but, if you’re my true friend, you’re welcome anytime! 🙂 I tell my son all the time- it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to cry, you don’t have to pretend to be happy when you aren’t. Emotions are a part of life, positive and negative. Anyways, just my $.10 since it was longer than $.02 😉
I think my entire blog is proof positive that life is messy and we are far from perfect. But yes, I think FB is full of happy-happy joy joy. Is it all fake? No, but it does seem like there is an awful lot of ‘look at me’ posts, even when they aren’t happy happy.
Kids need to see that like is not perfect and can be crap at times – I tell mine those moments are what make the good ones so GOOD. You’ve got the right idea, mama.