5 ways to Spice up your Marriage

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #YoursandMine #CollectiveBias

Are you looking to spice things up in your marriage? I have learned way more then I thought I would ever want to learn about marriage these past 5 years and it wasn’t from reading books. My hubby and I have been married 14 years and year 9 was our worst. Before I spill the beans, I want to say that there is hope for ANY marriage and I’m cheering for your marriage as I type this! Cheering for it to become the most fulfilling relationship you have. Cheering for you to feel loved and adored, as well as feel love and adoration for your spouse! Here is our story and at the end 5 ways I have found to spice up my marriage!

Steve and I were married while in college. I was in my last semester and he was in grad school. We lived on love and two part time jobs. We didn’t have the distractions of kids or family those first few years. After a year or so of being married, I felt it was time to start a family. He wasn’t really on board. We ended up with a few years of infertility and I put my body thru tons of different fertility procedures without success. I was angry. Mad that I couldn’t get pregnant, mad that he wasn’t really on board. I felt like I was going thru the whole process alone. This was the start of me building walls in our marriage. Also, when you go thru infertility, the doctor tells you WHEN you can and can’t have sex. This was damaging for us as well. Sex became about procreation only.

Fast forward a few years and he was now in a full time position and I was embarking on my third and final fertility treatment…IVF. The first IVF didn’t work for us, the second one did, but ended in miscarriage. This final IVF worked! We were pregnant with our first born, Chloe. She was born healthy and I poured EVERYTHING into being the perfect mom! I played dress up with her, read to hear and made her my everything. Steve was wrapped up in his job, so we were both content. A little after Chloe turned 1, we found out we were pregnant with Emma. She came and I was so excited about being a mom of two little girls. (No fertility treatments were needed!) And then before she turned one, we found out that we were pregnant with Maci. Three kids in four years is very hard on the body, and even harder on the marriage.

Steve was advancing at work and busier then ever. I was busy with diapers, breast feeding, and playing mom. Our marriage was nothing more then plastic smiles in public and roommates by night. We worked together to make sure the girls were taken care of, but neither of us were taking care of ourselves, our spouse, or our marriage.

Shortly after having Maci, I found out that Steve was having an emotional affair. This was so devastating to me. We went to counseling and that helped a little but it wasn’t until we were BOTH ready to take responsibility for our failed marriage that we were able to move towards forgiveness and restoration. It has been a lot of work but it’s been worth it.

Below you will find 5 ways that I have intentionally spiced up things in our marriage.

1.) One a day, one a week, one a month, and one a year. Once a day, I try to have a meaningful conversation with my hubby. Once a week, I try to have a meal with him…alone. Once a month we have a date night, and once a year we try to get away for the night or even weekend.

2.) Play a game together. The conversation and laughs that will come from playing will be long lasting. Stay away from watching movies and doing other activities that don’t allow for conversation.

3.) Cook a meal together. My hubby loves watching cooking shows…so I bought all of the ingredients to make a meal and we did it…together.

4.) Leave love notes around the house for each other. We take turns leaving hidden messages around the house. Think sticky notes in his car, dry erase marker on the bathroom mirror, or even a special note tucked away into his pants pocket.

5.) Find ways to get playful in the bedroom (or other parts of the house!). Recently, while shopping at Walmart, my eye was drawn to K-Y® DATE NIGHT $50 Value! I bought it and was eager to see what it was all about! The $15 kit came with a $5 movie voucher for online streaming, and dinner for two, which comes in the form of ingredients shipped for you to cook together! I have placed my order for the meal…which I chose Chicken Breast with Orange Mustard Sauce and Roasted Vegetables! The K-Y® YOURS+MINE is something we look forward to exploring. We’ve been married over 14 years now and the baby making days are over, now it’s all about pleasure and fulfilling each others desires. I’m more then sure this will spice things up in that area!

For more info on this fun product, visit K-Y.com. Check out the Date Night pack at Walmart.com for discreet purchasing.