Things I wish my Mom would have told me about becoming a Mom

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pregnancy

My cousin is expecting her first baby and I am so excited for her! I recently thought out what I wish my mom would have told me about motherhood and here is my list.

During the 1st yr you feel complete euphoria. That sweet baby can not do anything wrong. You don’t feel like you are missing out on life, that baby IS your life! You encourage her to do everything and hope and pray that she meets every milestone, ahead of schedule. 

During her 2nd yr of life you start to feel a loss of personal space. You little one is often frustrated that she can’t communicate her thoughts to you. This of course leads to lots of fits. This is also the year that they really start exploring the world around them. They will climb high and low, test out markers and cremes and so much more. Get ready. Their job is do just this!

Next comes the 3rd yr. This year is fun as your kiddo has a voice and expresses themselves clearly. The one or two word sentences become monologues and beware…they repeat things at this age and have a knack to do so when you least expect it. 

The 4th yr is really fun! They become super confusing to work with! They are independent, they can do everything themselves, and nothing themselves. You won’t know from day to day which they are choosing. 

Then in their 5th yr you will find yourself crying over sending them off to kindergarten. This is me this year. I can not believe that my BABY is in school full time. 

There will things that I struggled with during the early years of parenting. I am disclosing them here in hopes that you will find this info helpful. I felt that these were things that my friends and family didn’t really warn me about: 

Breast feeding – I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park but had no idea that I would feel like my sweet baby was sucking my nipples clean off of my body. They cracked, and bled. I also got mastitis a few times. It was horrible and I felt like I had the flu. I was able to push forward and nurse all of my girls at least 4 months. Things get MUCH better after the first month.

Self image – I could obviously see that my body had changed during pregnancy. I loved the way that I looked while I was pregnant. I did not, however like the saggy skin that I had all around my tummy afterwards. I felt pudgy and ugly. I could not imagine my husband finding me attractive…at all. This took a while to overcome. The lights are off or I change behind closed doors now.

Sex life – I was no longer interested in sex after having my girls. Sex felt like work to me and I honestly had no energy for that. I didn’t want to give anything to anyone after nursing a baby all day, or changing diapers. This grossly affected my marriage. My husband felt rejected and although it wasn’t my intentions, I didn’t make this a priority. I regret this.

Balance – I still struggle with this one. I want to give my kids all that they need, my husband too. However I also have found that I NEED time for me and my interests too. I often find myself feeling guilty about not being able to do it all. This is a daily struggle for me, still. The struggle to do it all, and do it well. 

Shopping – After having a baby, shopping becomes all about that kiddo. You no longer go out and grab a $50 top, you think about how that is 5 packs of diapers and feel way too guilty to actually purchase that top. You find yourself buying stuff for your little one, and not yourself. My girls are 5, 7, and 9 and I still do this.

Marriage – Your marriage becomes all about the kiddo. You hire a sitter for a night out and then you sit at dinner talking about your kiddo. It’s so hard to talk about anything else as they have become your world. It’s important that you continue to nurture your marriage and make your spouse feel loved and valued. This is vital to keeping the foundation in which you are raising your kiddos strong.

If you have had a baby, what were the things that you wish your mom/friends would have told you?

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Comments

  1. I just don’t know……..having lost my mom the year before, I just wished she’d been there to advise me and enjoy the entire thing. :-)

  2. I wish my Mom would have told me anything! All she ever said/says is that “Things are different now.” Or “I don’t remember.” Though some Moms give too much advice, I wish she would have provided me some comic relief or wisdom in those times. Always love her though!

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