For the past few months, my hubby and I have been attending Parent Camp. I really wanted to attend for a few reasons, but mainly because the teen years are coming quickly and I want to be ahead of the game. I don’t want to live in a crazy cycle of either apathy or shooting into the dark, hoping to hit the target! I want to be prepared, strategic!
I want to be super intentional in my parenting. I want my kids to have fun and be kids, but I want to be parenting with the end in mind. It’s no longer a minute by minute game, or even day by day. I want to be thinking about who I want them to be when they are 18 and parent with that goal.
I have found that this is a mental challenge and if I allow myself to be lazy, I slip back into my old ways. This challenge isn’t in just one area either. I have to be constantly practicing to get better. I love my kids very much and here is what I want to parent towards:
I want to raise kids who become responsible, respectful adults. Adults who have compassion, who take time to nurture relationships, who value people over things. I want to raise adults who have integrity and push to be the best they can. I want to raise contributors. People who problem solve and look for the good around them. I want to raise encouragers, adults who will stand for justice and will not sit quietly when called to rise up. I want to raise kids who know the LOVE of Christ and give it freely, instead of judgement. I want to raise kids who know the freedom of forgiveness and practice it. I want to raise kids who make mistakes and try again, a little harder.
Getting all of my kids to that point will surely not be easy. The best way I can work towards that goal is to model those things, to think about the end and not just the moment, to shepard the heart.
How do you parent with the end in mind? What tricks have you found are effective in raising kids who flourish?
There are some phrases that I hear parents use that make me cringe…we have to STOP using them! We have to do better!
- Shut up!
- Leave me alone!
- Go away!
- You’re stupid (or fill in the blank with name calling)
We have to teach our children that they are valued, loved, respected. We must cheer them on and help them grow confidence in themselves. We have to allow them to make mistakes and not fix things for them. Hurt along with them, laugh with them. Get in their world. We can’t expect them to be mini adults, let them be their own person. They are our future! Invest in them, and generations to come NOW!